I’ll admit it: I want to be Great. I want to live a life I’m proud of, inspire the people around me, and leave the world in better shape than when I entered.
I’ve spent most of my life cruising and putting in minimal effort, and that gave me just OK. I pandered to my ridiculous insecurities and stood well within my comfort zone, which made me, well, comfortable. But when I set my sights higher and aimed for a meaningful and fruitful life, I hit a wall, and I found the wall was me.
I lack grit and I lack courage. I don’t have any discipline and my attention span is shorter than a vine video. I can’t bring myself to exercise regularly and I give up not even halfway into a 15-minute Nike Training Club exercise. My insecurity is so massive that for fear of disappointing myself, and making a fool of myself in front of others, I choose to do nothing. I crave validation for my desires and affirmation for my daily decisions. I can’t bring myself to share something or do anything if I know it’s not going to turn out perfect. I procrastinated writing this entry all day that I actually got all the chores and errands done.
But my dreams are dangling in front of me like a carrot on a stick, and though I’ve never been a goal motivated person, they’re difficult to ignore.
Yes, I’m the ass hankering for the carrot.
Thanks to my stubborn optimism, I believe this ass can reach her dreams.
I think grit can be cultivated and fear overcome. I’ve been collecting inspirational quotes and photos since before personal laptops were a thing, and although I hope reading countless productivity articles and self-help books will help me get it right the first time, I know that I can’t get it right without actually doing something.
So this is my baby step. I’m putting myself out there and committing to the long haul. Taking inspiration from my friend Lena’s #oneyearofcreativity where she produces one original song a week (check out her page, by the way, she is a wonderfully talented singer and composer), I challenge myself to #365daysofcreativity where I need to create and post something every single day. It can be almost anything: an essay about things I’ve learned, a deliberately composed photo, a journaling of something I baked, a small work of art, a video. Anything except a song, because honestly you would pay for me not to sing.
Today my post is this:
I’ve been seeing those cute scripty calligraphy things everywhere, and wanted to learn it, so here is my very first attempt at faux-calligraphy. I just drew in and shaded it instead of using a proper calligraphy pen ‘cos I wouldn’t know how to use that shit anyway. That’s me in the back.
Hope you like this and every other post to come!
Love, light, and swell.