Courage, Grit, and 365 Days of Creativity

I’ll admit it: I want to be Great. I want to live a life I’m proud of, inspire the people around me, and leave the world in better shape than when I entered. 

I’ve spent most of my life cruising and putting in minimal effort, and that gave me just OK. I pandered to my ridiculous insecurities and stood well within my comfort zone, which made me, well, comfortable. But when I set my sights higher and aimed for a meaningful and fruitful life, I hit a wall, and I found the wall was me.

I lack grit and I lack courage. I don’t have any discipline and my attention span is shorter than a vine video. I can’t bring myself to exercise regularly and I give up not even halfway into a 15-minute Nike Training Club exercise. My insecurity is so massive that for fear of disappointing myself, and making a fool of myself in front of others, I choose to do nothing. I crave validation for my desires and affirmation for my daily decisions. I can’t bring myself to share something or do anything if I know it’s not going to turn out perfect. I procrastinated writing this entry all day that I actually got all the chores and errands done. 

But my dreams are dangling in front of me like a carrot on a stick, and though I’ve never been a goal motivated person, they’re difficult to ignore. 

Yes, I’m the ass hankering for the carrot.

Thanks to my stubborn optimism, I believe this ass can reach her dreams.

I think grit can be cultivated and fear overcome. I’ve been collecting inspirational quotes and photos since before personal laptops were a thing, and although I hope reading countless productivity articles and self-help books will help me get it right the first time, I know that I can’t get it right without actually doing something.

So this is my baby step. I’m putting myself out there and committing to the long haul. Taking inspiration from my friend Lena’s #oneyearofcreativity where she produces one original song a week (check out her page, by the way, she is a wonderfully talented singer and composer), I challenge myself to #365daysofcreativity where I need to create and post something every single day. It can be almost anything: an essay about things I’ve learned, a deliberately composed photo, a journaling of something I baked, a small work of art, a video. Anything except a song, because honestly you would pay for me not to sing. 

Today my post is this: 

image

I’ve been seeing those cute scripty calligraphy things everywhere, and wanted to learn it, so here is my very first attempt at faux-calligraphy. I just drew in and shaded it instead of using a proper calligraphy pen ‘cos I wouldn’t know how to use that shit anyway. That’s me in the back.

Hope you like this and every other post to come!

Love, light, and swell.

Some gnarly fog up in Baguio! (Taken with Instagram)

Wooooo! Next favorite flavor! #MagnumCapuccino ❤❤❤ (Taken with Instagram)

Heehee! Happily engaged ❤💑 (Taken with Instagram)

small talk is the worst

tell me your darkest secrets or fuck off

(via ratmanprimate)

I want to do the cheesiest things with you. I want to save you from the deluge that overwhelms our street every other year, call out to your window and pick you up on my surfboard so we can paddle away into the stormy night, and hopefully not catch leptospirosis. At my house, less than a block away but higher up than yours so there is no fear of the flood—only fear of losing electricity or worse, the WiFi connection—we can drink hot chocolate and pick out clothes and food that we plan to give away the next day for relief operations. We can cuddle on the couch, warming each other while we argue over things we know nothing about, such as poor urban planning and overpopulation and PAGASA being as accurate as Amanda Seyfried’s boobs in Mean Girls, and throw our hasty uninformed solutions at each other, gently, lovingly, like a goose down pillow fight. Then we can promptly forget the world and feel infinite as we settle into watching a fake DVD copy of the latest romcom that hasn’t even come out in theaters yet.

I want to make babies with you, little You’s and Me’s, many more than the national average reported by the census bureau, many many more than we could possibly provide for. But everything will be okay, because we have each other, and we have love. We can fill each other up with love, and nine months later when the product of our love arrives, he will never go hungry because love can sustain anything.

I love the little romantic things you do, like take off your tsinelas to kill the ipis for me while I shriek my head off because I am so afraid. I like it even when, the ipis, upon realizing its impending doom, starts to fly and you, too, scream and run. I appreciate the effort.

I can’t wait to grow old with you, and have our grandchildren who no longer know how to make bless running around our feet. Then we can look back wistfully on our lives and see how little has changed, except maybe that Manila has reclaimed even more of the bay and the sun no longer sets on sea, rocks, and flies, now only kitschy mall fronts and rip off hotels.

sheslikeaghost:

theseasonofthewitch:

Barack Obama addressing Todd Akin’s remarks on rape this past weekend x

yup

Listen up, CBCP. Second gif totally applicable to the RH Bill debate. sheslikeaghost:

theseasonofthewitch:

Barack Obama addressing Todd Akin’s remarks on rape this past weekend x

yup

Listen up, CBCP. Second gif totally applicable to the RH Bill debate.

sheslikeaghost:

theseasonofthewitch:

Barack Obama addressing Todd Akin’s remarks on rape this past weekend x

yup

Listen up, CBCP. Second gif totally applicable to the RH Bill debate.

Danny’s innovation: beef burger on goat cheese with sundried tomato. It doesn’t look like much but DANG it’s good! (Taken with Instagram)